Attend Moi

Being lost at sea is a luxury I aspire to. The object is to float out of sight of land, puch a hole in the hull and vanish without a trace.

I don't have the money for a boat, nor boat launch fee. I don't know how to sail, really, but thats fine.

I propose this as an art "action" and I'd do it for the cost of materials. The documentation is of course yours to auction off or fetishize, whatever - I'll be dead.

So far so good.

The conceptual artist Bas Jan Ader sailed into obivion, so this isn't some original avant guard gesture. Its just a pathetic attemt at manufacturing meaning in an otherwise unremarkable life. Its a gesture - a pissing into the winds of chaos from whence the creator manufactured order, to his liking, but not mine.

Nor am I rebelling. If someone has a better idea I'm open to it. I could build Viking longboats for other people to burn themselves to death in. I could rig diving bells to sink endlessly into the deepest trenches of the worlds oceans.

Nor am I particularly romantic. I'm no reader of Goethe with his sorrows. Nor a Fascist hiding in a bunker while my empire collapses. Nor a duellist fighting for the honour of my family. Nor a soldier dutybound to the army of man.

If I can't find a boat I'll go for concrete overshoes off the side of a party barge, a clown outfit, pockets full of rocks and a dirty limerick gummed to the railing that neither confirms nor discounts foul play.

But the idea of being "lost at sea" is of course a conceit and in the end I am forced to admit my real reason - I would very much like to be googled until a satellite picture is found - of me vanishing beneath the waves.